Thursday, September 17, 2009

Another Angel

I just wanted to thank Chrissy and Diane (libby and Addie) for coming to my grandmas viewing. I love you guys so much and appreciate you doing that for me. I want my grandma to know I love her and will miss her. I know that she is happy being with my grandpa again. I am thankful for the peace that I have that my son and her are having a good time together. I love you grandma and you will be with me forever! Miss you.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Hard Times

I am so sorry we didn't get to the park with Chrissy, Diane and kids. We so looked forward to it. Well when it rains it pours. On Friday of last week I went to a different doc at the UofU to help me find out what happened during my pregnancy. Found I have fibroids on my uterus and that is what the doc thinks happened to the placenta not working right. Finally I get an answer to what is going on. Now it looks like surgery for me to remove them. Trust your instincts with doc and always get a second opinion. My first doc wouldn't check and I knew something was wrong. Also last friday Grandma dunbar went in had surgery on her heart and they weren't able to fix her fibrilation and they found two more not repairable. Needless to say we are worried she is on oxygen having a hard time and my poor dad is struggling. That was just friday and that was only the beginning of this horrible week.

On Monday my grandma pack fell and broke her hip. I ran up to Logan and stayed with her after the surgery and knew we were in for a battle and that she wasn't going to be the same. The grandma that held my hand my whole life now needs my hand to help her. I sat and held her hand for four hours while she lay lifeless struggling to breathe and watching her blood pressure drop. I thought how do I lose my grandma now that I just lost my son. I talked to her and talked about all the good memories we had with each other. The doctors came in talking to me expecting the worst. She gradually came to but wasn't the grandma I knew. She was confused but got my name out saying, "tami". I cried she knew I was there and thats all I needed. I want to thank my husband who came to my side again to help me with another struggle. Thanks babe for loving me and being there for me. We have witnesses so much of life and death lately I really can't handle anymore. He helps me so much and shows me what life is all about. LOVE and FAMILY! You are the best Jason. Jason and I left around eleven on Monday night and stayed in Roy and my wonderful mom in laws house where they took care of the girls for us. The next day I went to airport to pick up my mom and drove back to logan. My grandma made it through the night and was glad to see my mom yesterday.
Today I ran back up to Logan and visited my mom and grandma. Grandma is not doing well. She can't talk, she is confused, kidneys are not working, she has ammonia(I can't spell that sorry) and has a lot of strikes against her right now. Her quality of life will never be the same. It breaks my heart to see her slipping away from the grandma I knew. I know god has a plan for all and I will accept it if he takes my grandma cause I don't want her in pain and I would love to see the smile on my grandpa's face when he is with her again. Thanks to everyone for love and support. I will keep everyone posted on what happens to my grams.